Sunday, February 05, 2006

What You Thought You Wanted

Life is strange. Sometimes, you think you know what you want, and you have such great conviction that this is exactly what you want, you plan and scheme on getting your hands on it, you pray and hope that you get it. Then, when it's almost within your grasp, what you thought you want is just ... not.

Well, I was so desperate to lay hands on that apartment, I emailed everyone I thought who could help me get in touch with the agent who wouldn't reply to my emails and just in case, to inspect the apartment by proxy before I arrived. I was convinced it was what I had wanted. So very badly. I was obsessing a little even.

Then I viewed the place when I arrived, with 4 other competitors. We interrogated the agent as to how soon we could put in our applications, I had even wanted to go to the real estate agency with him there and then, unfortunately (or fortunately), he had other viewings to attend to and we all had to fax in our applications on Monday. And suddenly after leaving the apartment, the scales fell from my eyes. I started having more second thoughts. Then I started to look at older art deco style apartments in a new light. True, they had no air conditioning nor heating built in (but the recent cool weather was promising), they would tax my poor knees dearly if the apartment were situated any higher than the 2nd floor and they were generally old. But the lure of bigger space, tastefully furnished for around the same rent, was a definite plus at this point in time.

I hesitated. I paused. I hemmed and I hawed.

What I had found so appropriate, so ideal, with such great conviction, suddenly didn't look so wonderful after all. Our wants and needs and priorities in life change, sometimes quicker than others. Some things trivial, some not so trivial. Some things make a small dent in our lives, some have significant impact when we change our minds - just like that. I guess the important thing to remember is not to hold on too tightly to what one thinks is one's ideals, needs, priorities. Sometimes, things change very quickly and you just have to go with the flow - don't fight it, just float...


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